Sports day, which was yesterday. The theme was pink and rockstars, and I think I fit into it quite nicely :D I really need a haircut though, my hair has become too long, and I can't manage it if it's longer than that. I need it to have a look and a proper haircut. So, I guess I'll have to start saving up money as I'm almost out.
There have been a lot of things which have been bringing me down recently. The main is of course the financial trouble we're having. I finally threw a bone and told my friends about it, it was by total accident though, they overheard me talking to my mom. They were really very supportive and told me things to read from the Quran, but most importantly, they told me that Allah sends down these times as a test, to see how much we really believe in Him. Every family goes through good and bad times, life wouldn't be life without the tests and struggles and challenges. But I never knew how down something could get me. And worst of all, I'm not praying. I prayed early in the morning, but when I came home I went with my brother to drop off some things at a friend's place, came back and I heard the Azaan, but went for my bed and slept for about an hour. Curse me. I need the willpower, but I don't know where to get it from.
It's quite ironic how you're supposed to turn to Allah in times of depression, and yet all you want to do is not so anything and dwell on your problems. At least, that's how it is with me.
Another thing is H. Of course, you must be sighing. I'm sighing myself. Whatever the reason we're not alright, I'm not going to share. Because frankly, I'm tired of my mood depending on him. I'm tired of me only being happy when he is sweet and nice to me, and my mood sucking when he's not. I don't think my mood should depend on a person alone, I think it should always remain positive and neutral, no matter what the circumstance. Today we were texting for awhile in class, and I could feel myself getting enclosed in this one mood, but I forced myself to focus on other things, friends, dissection, studies, and texting other people, and it worked. So all I need is a sufficiently strong distraction for any problem in my life, and college does provide me with that.
I love showers. I'm going t take one right after this blog post. Or after I get half of my studying done for today.
My stage is on Monday. The entire lower limb. My day consisted of studying for that one limb entirely. Lol. I skipped the first class of the day which was Biochemistry tutorial, just to go to the Dissection Hall early when nobody would be around, and identify the limb's muscles. I'm very happy to say that I've done it :D I've learned exactly where everything is, and especially the troubling 'sole of the foot' and the ankle area. Trust me, those areas are easy to learn in theory, and so crazy confusing when you see it live.
If anyone is wondering, no, I'm not afraid of dissection, nor of the bodies. They've been preserved, which basically removes one step of humanity right there. And it's all for scientific purpose, I can definitely train my mind to think that way and touch the limb just to go through the muscles and learn everything I've done it before. :) I'm still debating whether to go to college tomorrow or not for one more final ID.
Then after that class, I met up with the rest of my friends in the Physiology lecture, where I didn't pay attention to anything and completed my Biochemistry practical. Then it was Histology, and I paid semi attention to that. Then it was Dissection, officially, and I did ID and the joints one more time. I feel satisfied that I'll be able to do my oral exam (which is on the 17th) well.
Things I want/need:
-Chunky bracelets
-Rings, big ones. (I only own one, really)
-A pair of black pumps.
-Two more pairs of skinny jeans.
-A new straightener.
-An entirely new make up wardrobe, especially mascara and eyeliner.
This is what I've been thinking about quite recently. You know when people say they have no clothes or have to redo their wardrobe? I actually mean it. It sucks that I'm remembering I need/want these things when we're having such monetary lows.
Be strong everyone, and always hope for the best but prepare for the worst.
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