Everything is an illusion.

It's Sehri time. Life feels so normal this way now, staying up till 3am. But when I see that dark blue sky after an hour or two, then that's my cue to hit the hay. And wake up with a sleep headache.
Enjoying light comedy nowadays. 30 Rock. I don't have anything to fall back on after this. Maybe that's for the better.
I had a friend, back in school. O Levels. Let's call her Z. She was my best friend, really close. And just because of our age, immaturity, and her ego, we had a massive fight in front of the whole class, and never spoke to each other again. At a reunion last year, I hoped that we silently buried the hatchet in our heads and would act like decent civil human beings. I was certainly ready to. And when I came close to meeting her, she got up and walked towards the bathroom. I realized then that it wasn't because of our age that we fought some 7 years back. She is, was, and will still be, immature. Though I do miss her.
School was a kaleidoscope of everything. I was definitely that "OMG! He's sooo cuuute" girl. I crushed on many guys. All they needed was spiked hair and sagging jeans. One of them is now a singer in Karachi and comes on Radio FM91 now and then. Another runs major art projects around the city. I sure do know how to pick 'em.
I crushed on H too, but I never saw it heading anywhere. Look how that turned out, haha.
And drama. So much of it. And rebellion. I was this close to being expelled. Instead, I was suspended. And failing tests was a regular.
I wish I knew how I got my act together so I could give advice to people about it.
Now, there's none of that in me. No cute boys, no rebel, no failing. I'm this straitlaced person now. Unbelievable in my eyes.
 Kicking the habit of biting nails is so hard, crazy hard. Struggling.
Going to make a list of the people who can see my full profile on Facebook. Later.

My deconstructed day + summer so far.

• I have a 10$ bill in my black and white dotted wallet. I've had it since 2005, when the dollar was 57 rupees. Now it's at the 100 rupee mark, but I can't bring myself to convert it. I've thought about it a hundred times, in a hundred different places. At a store, when I really wanted that bag. Or at the Duty Free, when it could get me another box of chocolates. But it's still there. I find it amusing that I could keep it in there for so long, when I'm usually very capricious with my money, and where it goes.
•   The weather affects everyone's mood. Let's all accept it and avoid our worst tempered friends when the sun is blazing. And then laugh and play in the rain together when it comes.
• I'm not excited about summer vacations. At all. I won't have to wake up at 6am anymore, but I'll probably be isolated most of the time, and sitting at home. Especially since Ramadan starts  a few days after the vacations do. So, all my time will be for that.
• Every day, wake up with a new purpose.
• A friend's laptop broke a couple of days back. The Shahbaz Sharif ones that we got. It makes me so grateful that my laptop is alive, because I put it through absolute hell, every day. I do not deserve this.
• Pharmacology presentation left, and then it's all classes. That's a relief.
• Third year professional exams scare me more than the first two professionals I gave. I'm scared right now even though the damn thing is 3 months away. Aargh, worry wart I am.
• My Milo and milk is in the freezer getting cold. I'm anticipating it.
• Words are beautiful. The people who write them aren't, necessarily.
• Quit nail biting habit regimen. Not successful, I keep on doing it in the deepest subconscious way. I am so annoyed at myself; how can I not know when I'm doing it?
• House season 6. Then all the way to 8, then Game of Thrones, then anything else I can get my hands on. 
• I can touch my toes now. I couldn't before. I realized, my body is a creaky machine. It is not flexible in the slightest and I do the bare minimum. I need to be more healthy.
• Didn't take enough pictures for third year. Hm. Now, third year of med school is summarizing in my head this last week. The ups and the downs, the best points and the worst.
• I want to stop talking less, and listening more. I'm a horrendous listener.