You know those days/weeks where everything goes from bad to worse? I haven't had a day like that in ages. Actually, years. I can't even remember the last time something like that happened, all in quick succession.
It was today. Right after I was in my decisive mood of picking my brunch. Since it was raining outside, my brother came home, and told us he had been in an accident, a motorbike accident. Thank God he was okay, but the bike was wrecked. Not severely, but enough. And so there I am, inspecting the bike, checking to see how much damage it'd been, freaking out inside at the thought of my Dad seeing all this, when I absentmindedly (or knowingly, but moronically) put my finger on the silencer of the bike to check if that was bent too (it's chromium plated, it reflects light, so a part looked bent).
IIT WAS OHMYGOD YOUWOULDN'TBELIEVEIT HOT.
I staggered back, screaming "Ow,ow,ow,ow,ow" and ran to put some ice on it. The swelling went down and it got better, and now the fingerprint area of my index finger looks like somebody opened up a paper ball; all wrinkly and weird. I call it my "paper finger".

I didn't study anything today. ANYTHING. I feel guilty, but then I decided to just get over it. I lost one day, so I'll make up for it. 10 days to go till the send ups. Khair hai.

I'm sleepy and I don't know why. I might watch the Adjustment Bureau tonight.

I keep on coming back to my blog to post random stuff and I find it so strange. But fun.

After a Lonely Night.

I am not guilty, I have nothing to be afraid of, and I don't owe anyone anything.

A mantra for when I'm feeling down. 

I haven't had breakfast (Brunch? Lunch? It's 2:30pm) yet, and I'm thinking it's a choice between baaqar khaani and an omelet sandwich. I better choose soon, because I have a whole day of Abdomen Pelvis studying to get done with. The part of Gross I hate the most.

It's raining BEAUTIFULLY outside. I love the sound.

Myface, Spacebook.

Dad: Beta, are you on Tweeter? (Twitter. Strange, since his English accent is pretty crisp and fresh. He doesn't emphasize on t's, like the Pakistani accent)

Me: ....Yes. 

Dad: Oh, did you TWEET Barack Obama about getting your voter registration this year, so that you can vote?

Me: No, Dad, if I tweet him, it won't go directly to-

Dad: Yes it will!! This is an official website!! Do it, please.

Me: O_O Okay baba.

The grand design.

It's strange, how some people can have so much going on in their life, but still say that they're bored. It's exactly like having a closet full of clothes and saying you have nothing to wear (I never experienced the latter until about two years ago, when I started to actually care about what I wear). 

There are things I have to do every day, but they seem so mundane and unimportant to me. 

I've been taking time out almost every night to watch a movie, any movie I've downloaded. Watched Notting Hill for the first time, and it's safe to say I'm beyond in love with Hugh Grant. I took the laptop downstairs the next day and forced Mom to watch atleast half of the movie to notice all his charming-ness and mannerisms and everything. She responded by staring at me and saying "Tumhara baap ka umr hai." -_-  But she did agree with me on the fact that he is just oh-so-handsome. I want/need/should marry someone looking and sounding just like him. Posh British accents ftw!

I love my Eid suit. It's bright yellow and sunny and summery, with black and white detail. Will put up a picture on Eid. Even so, Eid isn't usually a big deal for me anymore. I wonder if same age Christians feel the same way about Christmas. I mean, we're not kids anymore, our heads aren't filled with fun and games and carefree days. Atleast not mine. I have things to do, and if I don't, I make up things to do, so I can keep my day occupied. My worst day is when I have absolutely nothing to do, or anything planned.

The biggest thought in my head, which will remain there even when I'm consciously not thinking about it, are the send ups in September. I'm a little bit behind schedule in studying, but I've gotten quite a substantial amount done. Histo done, and I'm on Embryo now. I wish I could compare how I'm doing with others, but I know that if I text anyone asking them, they- with the slight exception of A- will lie and always reduce their studying to yaar, kuch bhi nahin kiya. I don't get that. You telling me will only motivate me if you're ahead, and be indifferent if you're not. But I guess nobody else thinks like that.

Currently reading: John Grisham, The Confession (when I get time)

Currently listening to" Bachpan by Kaavish and Killin' It by Krewella. The only EMD group I like. 

Titanic will be the most epic movie ever, for me. Avatar was good too, very well developed, but not like Titanic. If you watch Avatar again, it'll be for passing time. If you watch Titanic again, you'll find yourself mouthing every dialogue, and preparing to cry when Jack is dying. It's such an emotion provoking movie. I love it, it'll be my favorite movie of all time. And I think it's the perfect romance, just one day old, and spilling over the brim with love. The things she did for him. The life he gave for her. Yes.

I think, if balanced properly, I could be a good example of practical with every other non-practical part of me still remaining. Like being an incurable romantic, and liking surprises, and sometimes expecting too much. Why should that all have to change for a person, or a degree? For the longest time, that has been going through my head. There's no need for me to change. For anything. And even less, for anyone. 

Amalgation of thoughts.

Morning Dawn.

One of the best things about Ramadan: staying up all night, stepping out on the terrace, and seeing this. This is the best shade of blue I've ever seen.

Proper blog post coming soon. Listen to No One Does It Better by You Me At Six.

Cook?!

Remember the cooking deal for the summer?

An attempted paratha at Sehri. Looks like a Graafian follicle. I don't even know how that happened.

I think I'll just stick to medicine. Yeah.

This is all just normal...right?

I actually had to pen (err,text) down topics that I could blog about, because I seriously need to talk to someone other than my family. But strangely, my mind sort of shuts down when it comes to thinking of other things besides my studying schedule. I'm very linear and one way nowadays.

So, I'm stuck here, in these vacations, starting to study and prep for my send ups in September. I only gave myself about 2 weeks off, and even in those, some study-crazy kids from my college had begun their prep. I am NOT that insane. I needed a breather. I still need a breather, actually. I wish I had all the holidays to myself to make plans and eat good food, and have amazing company. Like some other people I know.

Okay, so it's been sort of ticking me off that a lot of my friends have gone abroad to spend their vacations. Not the close friends, the Facebook friends. One friend, went to the States, another went to Dubai, another went to Canada, and yet another went to London. They are spamming my news feed with their photos in every possible corner of the famous cities, and then they expect people not to stalk them? I want to go abroad. I feel useless in having an American passport now. Seriously. It feels like there's nothing I can do with it, so I should just shred it. I will admit that this is some phase of jealousy, but you can't blame me. Being suffocated all year with tests and exams and reminders that you have to do well ALL the time, can take its toll and leave you slightly deranged. So, I want a world tour, and lots of money. I'm practical enough to know and accept it won't happen, but I can definitely dream.

I think I have a stalker-ish side to me. I recently found out about it when I see how I backslide on Facebook posts. And go back to everything a person has done within 24 hours. It used to be funny; now it's turning into a problem. Lol. I'm paranoid, crazy paranoid. I NEED to know what other people are thinking, how they perceive a situation, why they do so. But now that I know that I do it, I'm consciously trying to stop. As in,even if I have an opportunity to stalk the life out of something, I deliberately hold back, remembering there's a higher power than me and fighting my need to know and control everything. A calls me Monica. From Friends. I don't know how she meant by it, but I consider it a compliment. Haha, because I love the way she's so perfect about everything. If you're going to live, live well, right?

My study routine is so funny. I wake up at 4pm. Then self-loathe for about a half hour. Then study for barely an hour before Aftaari prep beckons me. Then after Aftaari prep, I'm too full and sleepy, so I'm skimming through pages. Then 8:30pm-10:30pm, is a double show of Masterchef followed by Criminal Minds. Everything is supremely testing me! And I regularly fail that test. I end up watching the shows and starting to SERIOUSLY begin study after midnight. I need something to properly scare me that the send ups are actually coming up. I think lack of time will scare me one day. Right now, it's not, as is evident by the fact that I still have half a chapter left of Biochem study and it's 2:25am. -___-

I really want/need a new profile picture for my Facebook. Preferably one taken by a DSLR. I need some fun in my life!

So there you have it. A blog post of a person who has nothing interesting going on for her in her life. But when she does, she'll let you know.