My teenage rebellious phase is back again. I just want to be freeeee and do what I want. Mom and Dad hounding me about marriage, and me refusing to accept it. If anything, I want to marry H for the companionship. How do you throw six years away? How do you justify not getting married when you've been in something with civility and decency?
I'm 24, and when I'm alone and I remember that number, my heart skips a beat. 24? What? Meaning six years away from 30? This is all too quick and unreal. I don't want this. I want to travel.
Which brings me to my next topic: I am obsessed with learning Lahore's roads and areas. I want this map to be known like the back of my hand. I already know alot, deliberately learning and relearning all my journeys. I love this city, and living here for 13 years I want to completely know it. The names. Krishnagar. Mughalpura. Harbanspura. Ramgarh. Shah Alami. Rang Mehal. The architecture. Have you seen NCA, GPO? Government College, Lahore Museum? How do you people, with your rickshaws and your paan-spitting ways, pass by these streets and not see or feel the history soaked in them? Everytime I pass this area I'm in 1960 or less. And I want to be. I am in such a different state of mind that no friend or family with me at that moment, can understand. The same with Lahore Fort. Emperors walked here. Courts were held. Wars fought. Elephants. Power, majesty, history. Too much we know, none of which we have seen, Their existence needs our voices and our spirit.
