Mickey.

W. Seriously man,what happened? What was that all about? From talking almost every day to texts dwindling more and more in June. And now I have a fear of texting you because I don't like receiving one or two word texts from people who gave me conversations as deep as the sea. You are the only person in the world that I know will be there for me even if we haven't talked in ages. Who can spin talks and laugh so hard and show me all this love without feeling anything romantic.

You,nobody else,would send me a slice of Masoom's cake all the way from Islamabad 'just cuz'. And TCS me a jar of Davidoff's best house blend coffee because I told you two nights before that I've had nothing but Nescafe in my life. Or listen to my 4 hour rants about H without interrupting once. They were really four hours long. So long,and you made them feel like minutes.

I've seen your genuine smiles when I come over to Islamabad or you to Lahore. Whenever we meet we have these huge smiles. My cheeks hurt. Its funny because we all say Aoa to a thousand people a day and it means nothing. But all we say to each other is 'Hey', and we get happy.

Carom. Ludo. Blair Witch project. The G-8 park at 6am. So many words and subjects and topics. To talk about.

I sometimes wish you weren't so against hugging. Because if I could,I would everytime. You are a complete double edged sword and you go off into the wilderness at times but you always come back. With a bang. A text,rather. Leading into a phone call.

Profs are ending tomorrow. I'm adding you in my FnF since I have a new Warid sim. And I'm calling you. And I'll listen to everything you say. But please stop this bullshit of ignorance. I don't know why you're doing it and I used to care but now I don't. Let's talk. Deeply. 

Altered sensorium.

I don't know how it happened, but it did.
A couple of brownies here and there, and then my heart's racing. And I can't sleep. And everything feels completely unreal. People are walking in front of me, and you think it's all a lie. I'm telling people I'm not crazy, and I wish they'd stop laughing. In my head, I'm talking perfectly fine. To others, I'm slow as hell. Thing is, they know exactly what's happening to me, and I'm stuck in this whirl of clouds thinking "This feeling is going to last forever." "I'm going to die for sure." "My heart's going to explode from shivering."
Now, I have more confirmation than any other that getting high is so overrated. Definitely not recommended if you have a darker side to you, a meaner, evil side. You need to be nice and happy to enjoy it. And friends around too.
And to have it in between profs. Shit. I'm loosening up a little too much, aren't I?
It's over. And I don't want it again. And I honestly have the coolest supportive people in the world. All the way from H smelling it and laughing, to M saying It's perfectly normal, I'll come by tomorrow, and check on you (And she did. She left a few hours ago. And we watched Vines and cuddled in blankets and talked about every shitty thing under the sun). And Kt, being right there when I was too afraid to sleep for fear that I'll die. Haha.
I want a Domino's pizza so badly right now. Veggie Feast.
Nobody judged. Or passed a sarcastic comment or said anything. And they have no idea how much I love them for it.

Okay, forgetting all the sappy stuff. Prof vivas and practicals are happening, and I'm smack dab in the middle of them. I had four days to study for the Pathology viva, and I've wasted one and a half just getting over myself. And sleeping. Alot. ALOT. 14 hours straight.
New friend. N. She's from college, but not in the same group. I have needed and depended on her so much during these exams. I couldn't have gone through them without her. I'm going to call her after this. So lost about what to study.

I have another blog post completely ready to write about, but for later.
Cheers to a first. (: