Extremely lazy.

I liiike this new layout. ALOT, actually.

I think I'm gonna stick to Template Designer, if I ever want to change my layout again. They have loads of different styles, for everything. When I think about it deeply, I didn't like my last layout enough. It lacked color. Grays and blacks and whites lowered my mood whenever I opened my blog. Lol.

I have to change the header though, it's not suitable to me anymore. People change. So I changed. I do still like the abstract-ness of the stoplight though. But I must find another one, to describe me more aptly. That will take a while,lol.

I have become. way. too. lazy. Like. I go to sleep at around 4am. And I wake up at 4pm. And that's so not right. It's unhealthy. I love sleeping, and I love laying down, it's my favorite thing ever. But my mom needs me in the morning, to help her with things. With watching the maid clean (why is it that Pakistani maids never do a good job unless you're breathing down their necks? Kaamchor.) And helping her with house stuff. I'm free now, I'm on holiday, but that doesn't mean that I have to only think about myself. My mom is happy that I'm on holiday too, so I can help her. 

So I should definitely get more into the family lifestyle. It'll make me feel good too :)

There's a really major piece of news that brewing in my family, and I'm half excited and half scared. And it doesn't have to do with me directly. But I can't tell you just yet. Don't want to jinx it. Besides my followers, you never know what stalker is perversing through my blog. O_O I'm slightly scared now. But, you'll know about the good news when everything is finalized, and no amount of ''nazr'' can do anything to it. Lol. Wait now...

Oh, the wedding is over. It honestly didn't even feel like a wedding, because of the weird timings. 7-10pm. WHAT?! Don't they know that as traditional Pakistanis, one of their many traits is to stall for time? And be ''fashionably late''. If the card says 8pm, basically it means ''we'll still be getting ready by 8, so you can come at 9, or even 9:30. We won't hit you by 10. But 11, it's quite enough.'' Haha. So the fact that rules were actually put out for a wedding. It's just unnatural in a country and culture like Pakistan.

And all to save energy because Pakistan has an electricity problem. Damn, we gotta fix that.

H is in America. Okay, you already knew that. There were like, little little fights that we touched upon, and they could've led to an all out open brawl, but thankfully they didn't. A part of me has grown up and realized some things about life, and about how relationships need to toughen in order to stay strong. And over time, I have realized that contrary to what I thought, H is NOT a perfect person. When you start out in a relationship, they are completely perfect to you. And the shocking bit, the bit that throws you in doubts, is when you realize that, no your ''significant other'' is not perfect. He or she has flaws. Maybe a temper, maybe a little bias, maybe gambling, maybe smoking. Myabe you can change those things, maybe you can't. But to sum up everything I've been feeling these past few days, I'd just like to say I truly know the meaning of this quote now:

"Love is not about finding a perfect person. It's about loving an imperfect person, perfectly. And looking beyond the imperfectly.''

Just because somebody has flaws, doesn't mean you and him or you and her aren't meant to be. So, basically, that is the lesson I learned this week. :)

Somebody once told me something: We're all humans. Everybody has flaws. Jinnah was great, he drank. Hitler was a visionary, he was a racist who killed millions of Jews. There's probably a perfect person out there, but his breath might stink. Point is, there IS no perfect person. And yet people still love. Which means they've decided to accept the small imperfection and love the whole point of him/her.

Good enough. Lol.

Oh.My.God. Look what's releasing in Pakistan tomorrow (yes, a week late. Weird.)

 

Dude. I like, have to see this in cinema. With the surround sound. I'm literally dying to.

HP RUNS IN MY VEINS.

I'm right in front of Dad right now. I'm gonna ask him for money for the ticket. Lol. Though I'd much rather go with H. But he's 8000 miles away. So I guess I'll just go with my sister.

Besides that, I'm going to an old college friend's place this Saturday. It's going to be fun, we have so much catching up to do! So I have things to look forward to, which I'm grateful for.

Please keep praying for my cousin K, who has cancer. We don't know the survival rate, and she's undergoing chemo. We need all the duas we can have. Never underestimate the power of prayer and of dua.

Today is officially Friday. Have a blessed Juma'a. :D

''My desi girl, my desi girl...''

The wedding is on, in full swing. Today was the mehendi, and the night before tonight, I went over to the bride's house, to stay over. I won't say it was fun, because it wasn't. Lol. It was just okay. I had mangoes, but they made my tummy upset. :(

There's just something about weddings, right? A new bride and groom, starting their life...I bet half the people that attend the wedding either dream up their own wedding (if unmarried) or remember their own wedding. It's just that kind of a thing. The mehendi was okay. I wore a turquoise and pink shalwar kameez, and I put my hair in a ''paranda.''

 It's these long colorful...I don't knw what you call it. Threads, I think? Anyway, you wrap them around the bottom of your hair, to give it that Punjabi desi touch. I think it's awesome.

Unfortunately, ''parandas'' don't agree with me. :( The reason is because I have a small face, so everytime I wrap my hair into that, it just makes my face more prominent. Which is not good. Lol. My face is round and tiny. Not suited to parandas. So no matter how much I love their look and traditional feel, sadly, I'll never wear parandas again. On other people, they look fantastic. But when I see myself wearing one, I hate how I look. I love my hair flowing around, and straightened, or curled, or styled in some way.

I guess 'desi-ness just doesn't like me. Oh well.

I don't like my layout anymore. It's too grey. And even though I've learned enough HTML to alter things, I don't know how to alter a lot of other things too. Like colors, and designs. I can see it written ''arial'' and stuff in there, but I don't know what it's for.

I'm too lazy to find out anyway. Lol. So, I'll be looking for a new layout, soon.

I begin studying from July 25th,all the way till September 4th. And then September 5th is the first Anatomy send up.

Just saying it makes my heart stop. I'm terrified of a stupid send up, look at me. Haha. It's okay though, I've made a schedule. Which was the easy part. Now I have to follow through. I hope I do. I don't miss my books at all, I love being so free and able to do whatever I want. True, it gets boring at times, but it feels nice, not having any responsibilities.

I want to go back to studying when I want to,because only I know exactly when I'm feeling good enough to go back to it. Lol. I don't like to be pressured to do anything. Exams=pressure.

I better get some sleep, tomorrow's the wedding, and there's so much to be done. Even for a person who's just attending, like me. Lol. And I need some things to keep me busy and my mind to be kept off other things.

You'll still be fine and feeling alright even when we're fighting and things aren't well between us, so let's just forget about it and move on with our lives.

Lots and Tots

''Productive'' should be my watchword. I say it for almost everything. 

Anyway.

I woke up today, from a dream. A really weird dream. You know how sometimes you wake up from a very vivid dream, that you still feel like you're in a dream state for the next half hour? That's how vivid it was. 

It was my mehendi. Might sound all ''aww, a girl's wedding'', but the thing is...it wasn't with H. That's what scared me. I was wearing a really pretty shocking pink lehenga, and I was sitting in the bridal room. And people were greeting me and congratulating me, and I felt so strange. I felt like I had to find H. So I took a cousin of mine with me, outside. 

Yes, I ran away from my own celebration. Lol.

It was raining outside, so I bundled up my lehenga in my hands, and I kept on walking until I found a bus. I went on it, but then almost immediately I told the driver to turn back, because I had a feeling that H already reached the venue. I went back. It was raining, I was getting drenched, but for some reason I didn't care. I guess because I didn't want this wedding to happen. I didn't even see the groom in my dream yet!

Then as I was walking back to the hall, I saw him, and he saw me. And he took my hand and led me up the stairs,back to the hall. We didn't speak about the fact that I wasn't marrying him, I didn't feel anything weird, like sadness, or my heart breaking. It felt like ''Devdas'', that scene where Shah Rukh Khan is taking Aishwarya back to the ''mandar''. After that,H went to the segregated portion of the hall. 

And then I woke up.

I felt strange all of that afternoon. I woke up at 4pm. Lol. I'm a late sleeper nowadays.

The rest of the day was okay. Me and my sister got down to some heavy cleaning, like break-your-back cleaning. Deep cleaning. It felt good when everything was clean, only..now we were dirty. Haha. Then after that me and my parents went to a family friend's place.

Preparations for my cousin's wedding in full swing! A trip to the parlor is BADLY needed. I'm waiting till the last day so that I look the freshest at the wedding :D

I'm just waiting for H to come online now. We haven't skyped since I posted up his pictures here on Blogger. Somebody put ''nazr'' on. Thanks a lot, whoever you are.

Moral Majority.

My friend, Rehmat Ajmal, started this page on Facebook, called Moral Majority. Here is the link. It's a page supprting women in Pakistan, and fighting for their rights. I am a self proclaimed feminist, so this page basically describes everything I stand for. Women have their own rights, men do not need to throw acid, do ''karo-kari'' or anything of the sort. We are not different. We're human. We should not be treated with such low status. And sadly, Pakistan is one of those countries that does that.

Join this page, if you're a woman, man, or if you think females of Pakistan need a better society to live in. Thanks. :)

Frenzy.

Okay, so my cousin's wedding is coming up.

15th,16th,17th.

And me and my sister are performing on 2 medleys, which is about 8 cut-up songs.

The choreography is just crazy. Lol.

When I was a kid, if I ever found a catchy song, I would drag my sister (let's call her K, she's only one year younger than me and one of my best friends) off of the couch and practice different dances, and then basically choreograph everything, even saying ''1,2,3,4..''

for absolutely no reason at all. Lol. We didn't practice for any competition, or anything. Just to beat the boredom, and make our lives fun. As far as I can remember, we made whole dance routines on the songs ''Come on Over'' by Christina Aguilera and ''You Cannot Run'' from the Scooby Doo movie. I am awesome at modern dance.

Traditional dance, not so much.

I am so awkward at dancing now. I feel like my body is too huge (because I'm bony, not because I'm fat) and I'm going to end up hitting someone. But it actually became fun today. We were at it for about 2 hours, I needed extra help because I couldn't understand how many spins there were. Lol. I'm a very on-beat person, I needed each dance step to be in sync with the music, whether I was in sync with my sister or not. Lol.

I think I'm going to have fun with this. It'll fill up my vacation days, so that's good :) Because honestly, there is like absolutely NOTHING going on. I'm so bored, I actually woke up at 4pm, because I didn't have anything to do.

The wedding is going to be awesome. I love weddings, mostly because they give me a chance to give myself a makeover. At every wedding we've attended in the last 3 years, I've gotten a haircut for it.

I've always had long hair growing up. There was a period when I had short hair, but I was too young to remember. When I was 13, we moved to Pakistan, and everyone admired my hair. But I hated it. I was thin, so I looked really weird, like all my hair weighed me down. So when I was 14, after literally BEGGING my mother, I got a haircut, about halfway arm's length. My mom actually cried. Haha :P

After that, it's been a series of haircuts. After some experiments, I found out that my best haircut was ''layers''. I kept on getting that again and again.

But now I need another change. And this time, since I'm in medical and all and I ALWAYS play the safe side, I'm going to go a little wild.

I'm planning on getting a bob.

That's right! :D

That's mega short. I've never had it that short. I'm secretly terrified, but at the same time, super excited. My mom is horrified. She said she'll never let me get that.

I'm 21. Of course I can get it. And I will. I'm dying to!

I'm lost about the front though. Some people say get a fringe with it, others say get bangs (like Katie Holmes in the picture above) and yet again, some say don't get anything done, leave it for a middle parting. I personally like the bangs and the middle parting. But I'm open to opinions. :) Do comment and tell me what you think!

Okay. I'm hungry. I'm going to have Maggi noodles..or something. Lol. I think dance practice every day is going to suck the life out of me.

Genuine.

So, even though I wanted to discuss the whole ''smoking'' thing with him, he made it clear enough that he wasn't going to do it at all while he was in America, which is 2 months. Hopefully, by then he'll be off it by good. But if he's not,I will try and continue to encourage him to quit, and if before marriage he doesn't, I will have to go into expecting that he'll continue to smoke. It's heartbreaking even saying it, but it's true. And realistic.

I will talk to him about it, one of these days. Maybe if the topic is brought up by itself. Right now, we still can't get over the fact that we're so apart, we want to talk as much as possible. We skyped for the first time last night. We couldn't talk or hear each other's voices, but we didn't care. We could see each other. It was bliss.

I miss him a lot now.

Hopefully another Skype tonight.♥

Yummy.

Okay, so people who know me (my followers, my friends, especially my family) know that:

I. SERIOUSLY. CANNOT. COOK.

And it sucks, because I love food. I should be able to know how to make it right?

The traditional Pakistani food of ''roti salan'' is delicious. But...it's like, a once or twice in a week thing, honestly. For me. Don't get me wrong, I love my culture, Asians rock. Hell yes we do. All Asians are overachievers. Just check out America's Ivy League Colleges.

We're awesome.

But I'm a very modern type of person, when it comes to food. I love burgers, sandwiches, the like. You know what I mean. Eating vegetables and chicken almost every day makes me sad. :(

So. I've decided. That I'm going to learn how to cook this summer. My way.

 I'm going to learn how to make the following things. And if I don't learn, hell, just know I am in love with this stuff. I lovelovelovelove all the food listed here. I would get fat if I could eat this all the time.

1.Potato Salad

2. Lasagna *drooling*

3.Caked Alaska

Okay, that's it. I'm tired now. Lol. What are your all time favorite foods?

13 hours ago.

This is mostly a reply to the comments I got on the last post, since it would take a super long time to comment individually and also, most of you had the same question and the same advice (btw, thank you so much for that!)

Here is a direct link to the smoking post. In there I wrote not only my own views about smoking, but my views related to H as well. About how I found out and what I felt. And ever link will redirect to the introductory page, you'll have to click on the picture of the book on the left to get to the post :)

I have told him how I felt about it, all the time. Just last night, when I found out, I wrote a very lengthy reply, literally letting myself out totally, in its rawness. It was because I was most vulnerable last night, when he had told me. It was all so fresh and new. Tip: Always blog or write in your diary immediately after a certain something has happened. The feelings are freshest then, they can be better explained and expressed then. I've learned that, and sometimes I look back and think ''is that really what I felt?'' It's a good outlet, and a stress reliever.

Anyways, last night was absolutely horrible for me. My mind was stuck on the smoking thing, it wouldn't get out of my head. I kept on playing games with myself, overanalysing the situation in every way possible. I woke up..probably ten times. Who can sleep when they have so much in their head?

As a result, I woke up at 3pm. I like sleeping as much as I want, but I hate waking up late, because then I feel like my life is starting to become a waste. But isn't that what vacations are meant for?

I woke up, thinking about him again, and wondering if he replied to the message I sent him. That message was really long, and really heartbreaking, saying the usual stuff ''How could you do this? You know I don't like it. How could you choose smoking over me?''  He didn't reply. That led me thinking:

1. Either he didn't read my message yet

2.Or he read it but didn't reply.

I tried to distract myself by reading a book I'd read before. It's called The Bride Stripped Bare, by Nikki Gemmell. A little bold, but I liked it. And at around 5:20pm, I got a text from Facebook.

He'd replied.

Granted, after that I felt much better.

The gist of the reply was that he was extremely ill, so ill that he didn't go to work today. He said he caught a viral infection from somebody on the plane.

The main part:

''Darling I'm so depressed because of this distance between you and me, I feel so ashamed about opening this entirely new chapter to worry you when we don't even have the time to love each other properly first.
Please forgive me. It's you I want, nothing else. And why would you compare this nasty habit with yourself anyway? I don't have to try and quit, I have. And since there is no way of getting my hands on it for two months, you need not worry about it in any way. It's impossible for me, and now you should be content.''

I don't want to let go of this right now, not so quick. I need details. One of the comments of the previous post was ''If he doesn't stop before marriage, don't expect him to stop after marriage as well. 

I think that's absolutely right. You can't hang on to a man's promises of ''after marriage''. You need to show him that NOW is the time. Convince him now. 

I'm not being an evil witch and convincing him to stop talking to his family, or to leave his parents, or to quit his job. That is his domain, his territory.

But smoking. Is my territory. Because I'm the one who's becoming a doctor. I know how bad it is.

I've heard of stories all around, of people living to such old ages, and being smokers. My grandfather, a smoker since his 20's, stopped when he was 70, and died when he was 82. And then you hear of the unusual cases. The man who was only 45, smoker, and died of a heart attack.

And then H's father, who had a stroke last year in April. Though I admit that smoking was not the main cause of the stroke, I can say with 100% assurance that it was definitely a contributing factor. 

You cannot smoke and guarantee your survival chances. You can live till a hundred, or die at 50. 

But you can ''not smoke'' and live a healthy life, and guarantee that you've done your best to live long. Whether it's in Allah's plan that you live long is up to Allah. But shouldn't we do our part? As humans?

Allah has bestowed us with a life. A life that we should take care of as much as we can. I think smoking is just slow suicide,like Kratz rightly says. You're killing yourself, setting yourself up for more diseases, less health, more sickness. 

H really should read this post. Lol.

I plan on living a healthy life, filled with fruits, vegetables, less soda intake, more water and juice, and exercise. And I plan on making him live healthy too.

''It's impossible.''

Okay, I am in like, a whirl of thoughts right now, and I need to sort them in my imaginary file cabinets and fix myself.

H told me, 2 months ago, that he had begun to quit smoking, and he's going to see if he can do it. Then he'll quit for good.

I told him that if he did go back to it, he would have to tell me.

He said ''Yeah, of course.''

He never told me anything, so I assumed that he never went back to it. In fact, 2 weeks before he left for the States, I kinda jibed him about it, and he said ''Oh great, now you reminded me. Now I want to.'' Then I asked ''So you're not doing it again?'' And he said ''No, I'm not. I quit.''

We're talking right now, on chat (actually, he's gone for a bit, but he'll be back and we were talking.) And he told me he was feeling ill. Cough, fever. He jokingly said that it was withdrawal symptoms.

Atleast I thought it jokingly.

I just found out that he was smoking, right upto the point that he left for America.

His valid reason?

''Of course. i quit for two weeks and saw what happened. so I thought i wouldn't get it anyway once in America so that would be the perfect time.''

He left before I could get a decent word out of him. I wanted to MAKE SURE it was true or not, as he is definitely a person to joke around about stuff like this.

I don't know what to say. Or how to feel. Really. Strangely enough, I was thinking about this today. About the fact that the last time he was in the States, he dropped this bomb on me too. That he was going to go back to smoking.

If you've read my post on smoking (scroll down, you'll find it), you'd know what I'm going through right now.

Did he really just break my trust...like that...again?

I am. Furious. And hurt. And very angry. And lost.

How could he just revert back to it and not tell me? 

How the hell am I supposed to deal with this now?

Renovation.

So, I changed my layout.

I love this one. Like, a million times over.

I've always searched for a layout like this. With pictures as navigators, simple colors, nothing too bright or flashy, and most of all, room for it to make it mine.

Trust me, this layout was nothing compared to what I did with it. For starters, all those pictures on the left, are mine. I replaced them with the other ones.

And the second picture is indeed me.

*sigh* I love this new layout. I just hope people don't have a hard time navigating it, and also, if new people want to follow me, I hope they know where to go (psst! The last photo!)

Today was a day that just passed by in a blur, seriously. Things happened that I don't like, and neither do I want to talk about.

Me and H didn't get to talk today, we JUST missed each other. He was online when I wasn't, and vice versa. 

God I hate it when that happens. Seriously.

My mom and dad went to this <i>nikaah</i> thing today. My cousin's. The one whose wedding is going to happen in the mid of July.

I don't get the point of having a <i> nikaah </i> done when you're only days away from the wedding.Why don't you just get it done on the day of the wedding? It's not like years away or anything. He's not going out of the country or to war.

I'm gonna get my <i> nikaah </i> done on my wedding day.

I just steered completely off track. Anyway.

Mom brought home three very yummy things:

1.Trifle

2.Dahi bhalay 

3.Mithai! :D

I still have the mithai left to devour. Ooh, I can't wait to have a gulab jamun...

Do you like mithai or dahi bhallay? If you're Asian and Muslim, you would be crazy not to. Seriously. Just plain sad in my book.

I'm not praying regularly anymore, and that's saddening,to me even. This morning, I was awake at Fajr time (it's just hard to sleep without a "certain" phone call at night) and I literlly had to fight myself to go pray. But I did, and I felt better. I'm just in one of those lazy moods, where I don't feel like doing anything at all. Hey, I'm totally entitled to this, I've just been through 5 months of grueling med school!

This post was really to alert everyone of my new layout. Lol. I hope tomorrow will be a fun day. I need to gain weight.

Recollection.

Today was a productive day.

I'm glad. I hate those days where all I do is sit in front of the TV or laptop. It makes me feel like my brain is actually rotting inside my skull.

And then when I get up after awhile, I feel really lazy and sometimes my shoulder muscles hurt. Alot. Does that happen to anyone else?

Or are you all staring at this post like ''ookay, this girl is WEIRD''?

So, major news before the day even began properly:

H has left for the States.

I am sad. And I've thought about little else but him today. 

But you know what? Judging my reaction to the whole situation, I realized how much I truly have grown through all these years. Particularly this last year.

September 2010-July 2011.

I can feel this...feeling. That's telling me that I don't need to cry, and that me and him will keep contact, and to be strong through all of this. To not let it get to me. He might be in another country, but what we feel hasn't changed even slightly. We still love and care about each other, and being apart will make me run and go crazy when I see him again in September :)

What would one call this? Maturity? Growth? Progression? Clarity? I don't know. But feeling this way has made me realize some things.

People think that if there's no romance and affection and passionate nights and wild fights, there's no love. People think that, once you get out of that ''honeymoon'' period, the result is just boredom, and monotony, and both parties are ready to move on.

What they don't get is that AFTER the honeymoon period begins the real part. The 'smooth road' part.

Everything has to normalize. I mean, you don't wake up every morning and get excited that you have a mother and father, do you? You've lived with them your whole life. You love them, and respect them, and sometimes, even take them for granted. 

But the love you have for them...it's deeply rooted. Like, you know you don't want to see them in pain. You'll honestly give up anything in your life to make them happy. And that's real, true love.

And in the beginning of a relationship, it's happiness without borders. You both are expressing love, showering each other with gifts, finding out new things. One day, you'll both have to go back to your lives, your jobs, your careers. That doesn't mean the love is over. On the contrary. THAT is what lays the foundation of deepening your love. Of forming that ''deeply rooted'' love. The kind you have for your parents.

I know I sound like a physchologist or something, lol. But I didn't read this anywhere or take this advice from someone. I lived it. I went through it. I went through believing that my love was over, I've been through moments of doubt, confusion, weakness, fear. And yet,I came out of it. And now, mine and H's love might not be fiery passionate or extremely romantic, but I can think of him, think of what he says to me, and what we mean to each other, and smile. Smile in my classroom, or a crowded bus. 

I don't need butterflies in my stomach or my heart to race or anything else to happen. It's not supposed to keep on happening, even when you're both 60. It's the first phase. And the second phase is the settling down phase.

And for anyone out there who's in a relationship. Trust me. It's harder than you think. And you'll only make it if you really, in your heart, care for him/her and want her to be happy and most of all, want to be with her.

I'm giving this sermon (lol) because today (my productive day) I was cleaning out my bottom drawer. The thieves messed it up when they came. That drawer had all of my previous journals and keepsakes and scrapbook material.

Memories, in physical form.

I've been journal writing since I was 15. And I've already filled up 7 journals, believe it or not. I still have one that's 3/4 empty, which I'll get back to if I ever get bored of Blogger. Lol. But I've always been inquisitive, and poignant, and an EXTREME overanalyst, so I liked writing all my thoughts down so that they could get out of me and I could solve my problems with myself on paper. 

Anyway.

I was cleaning it, and then I got to reading it.

It was some entries for when me and H were going through that second phase.

I whined and bitched about it, totally. In those entries, I acted like a pompous princess who needed to get her way and refused to believe that the honeymoon period was over.

And with each entry, the tone and the words got more mellower.

And then, I accepted it.

And then revelled in it.

And then there's a huge gap between November 2010 and January 2011 (I joined Blogger).

But in January 2011, I had added some questions that I needed to ask him.

I still go through some of those ''fits'', but overall, I've become a much more rounded and wholesome person. I don't look at just us anymore; I look at the whole picture, our families, our careers, our lives.

Being in a relationship doesn't mean making everything between you two perfect only. It means balancing everything, your family, your job, your goals, your life, and allowing them to collide at just the right moment so that the timing is right.

...

You can basically tell I miss him very much. LoL.

Okay, productive day., Let's see. I woke at a respectable vacation time (1:30pm) and till 6, I helped my mom with everything. I cleaned out my room, changed my bedsheets (which my sister ruined with chocolate milkshake only a little while later...but fixed herself) and best part: I made veggie noodles! I wish I could make more than that, cooking is so much fun sometimes. But sadly, my little sister is the kitchen expert. I'm just the foodie. 

They were reeeally good. I'm having some right now, actually. And then after that...I've been free. So I decided to come online and track H's flight on flightstats.com. As of right now, he is 2990 miles away from JFK airport. *sigh*

And a million miles away from me.

I'm acting like he's gone to war or something. Lol. 

Everything will be fine. I can't wait to talk to him on the phone. :D

I'm a HUGE Glee fan. Are you?

Season 2 is on, 10:30 tonight. Yay!

It feels good to be alive today. :)