Cold and crisp.

I looove winters. A hundred times better than summers.
People write all those songs about "summer love" and the "summer time", but I don't get it. I really don't. Why isn't winter mentioned in songs? How can winter not be loved?
You get to bake banana bread. And carrot cake. And just about any other confectionery.
Blankets are so much more better than air conditioners.
The red, juicy anaar are in season!
Boots outrank pumps/sandals in every way.
With the heater on, and your entire family around it, and cracking open pistachios and peanuts and reminiscing about how last year's winter was.
The air's crisp. I can't explain it, crisp air is much more amazing than humid, sticky air. No?
The entire style of it all. A nice warm coat, a scarf, skinny jeans, boots. It just looks amazing.
Your hair never getting fried or messed up.

Winters. Rule. I'm glad the season's back, and I'm alive to enjoy it.

I lied. To everyone. But most importantly, to myself.
Not being able to celebrate my birthday this year, with anything. No friends, no cake, no surprise party, no hangout.
Hurt me so much that I am welling up.
I'm 22. And I think I've had it with "finding" happiness. I just wish it'd come already. By itself.

Driftwood.

I finally found a word for those headaches you get when you sleep too much. Dull. They're dull headaches. Ohh. 
Taking a break from life isn't as romantic as it sounds. Getting up and being aimless? Not having anything to do except sleep, eat, watch TV, and go online? Too broke to go out with friends? Too scared to ask your dad for money because *insert whatever reason here*.
Yeah. That's how it's been. So, in a nutshell: not great.
So I'm going to stop this aimless living and go back to studying again. Life is seriously SO boring. 
It's one of those phases. Where everything is just momentarily in a standstill. I want things to move, I'm trying to push it to move, but it won't. So, I'll just slowly crawl out by starting to study. 
I've been sleeping so much, that when I wake up in the morning drunk on sleep, I feel like I'm sunken into the bed. Even I don't know what that means. But that's how it feels. 

"Momentary standstill phase" is also "wild dream phase". Thinking of a hundred things that I want to do. Get some clothes, pack them, and go out on the first plane ticket available. Go and meet Mehreen in the States. I'm dying to see her again, life is so empty without a best friend in the same country. I don't get how I've been so chill about this for the past 8-ish years. IT IS HORRIBLE NOT HAVING YOUR BEST FRIEND IN THE SAME COUNTRY AS YOU.
If she was here, there'd never be any standstill phases. Because she is the only friend who I feel comfortable going over her house, just for fun. Other friends, I always run out of things to talk to. Or we just don't "click". And she's possibly the only person I can cry to. There used to be a time where I could cry to literally anyone, with some godforsaken rainbow quality in me that "Everyone is great. Wrong.
Everyone is an asshole unless proven otherwise. So having someone who'll understand you right then and there without even having to explain, is a pretty awesome. Not everybody has a best friend. But from 8,000 miles away? While we're surviving on Skype and Whatsapp? Now THAT's depressing.
I miss her. Bas. That's it. 

Standstill phase = Wild dream phase = Junk food phase. I just want ice cream and two minute noodles and pasta all the time. And Coke and Sprite. No roti salan, even if it's my favorite dish.
The worst part of all this is, it that I'm actually letting my mood take control of me. For everything. And I think it's going to be that way until prof exams will only be two weeks away. Or if I get to go to Islamabad.
Islamabad will make everything better.
You always forget the other side of life when you're living in one part. That's why you should never allow yourself to totally sink in to one mood, emotion. My mood: wine dark.