Grey and black.

''Because everything comes second to your dreams.''

 Part of me never wants to grow up, because of all the sadness and bitterness there is in the world, and all the disappointments you have to face. I don't care much about drama, mainly because I don't cause it, and a little bit of drama is okay, but when it gets too overwhelming, and all you hear people saying is ''he said, she said'', then you basically want to tell everyone to STFU.

I'm the kind of person who needs to have everything under control. I cannot study unless I know I have a chance of getting good grades,unless I have the time management and the capacity in my brain and everything. As long as something is under my control, I will be happy. I might not act like a leader or bossy outwardly, but in actuality I really am. I control everything subconsciously, not by being stubborn and obnoxious, but by using logic to explain things to people, and usually they get it. Wow, that makes me sound either very manipulative or a genius, lol. I just realized how that sounded, writing it out here.

Let me tell you about my day today.

W was here! He is one of my ultimate favorite cousins, which makes it more funny since he's a male, and there has never been any romantic link between us (not that our mothers haven't tried). We've been close friends ever since my first day of landing into Pakistan, we met at the airport, and we just hit it off instantly. We were both 12, he's only 4 months older than me, and now we're both 20. He has honestly been my longest ever friend, and then after him comes Mehreen (who I met in October of the same year). It might not sound like such a big deal, but then again you have to remember that I grew up moving all the time. I lived in 7 houses before the age of 12, having a long time best friend never occurred to me, or whenever it did, it would make me sad because I never had anyone. Now I do, and more than anything that is the one thing I will miss about Pakistan: even though the country and the government are not stable, it gave me stability.

So he came over and spent the night at my place. We used to have this long standing tradition of me, him, and my sister staying up all night (no literally...we would sleep at 10am, when our parents would be waking up) and do various things. When we were kids, we would play games like Ludo or Carom. Now, we just sit on the terrace, while he smokes (don't get me started) and we talk. And talk and talk and talk. About everything under the moon, and there's no end. We will never stop and say ''Okay, we're done''. It's never been like that, and more than me being enthusiastic about talking, I love it when the person I'm talking to is also enthusiastic. And he always is :) 

So my sister had an exhibition at her college today, and even though I had no pre planning of it in my head, I just got up at noon and began to get ready to go there. I didn't really make any effort to dress up (reason why I'll tell you later, in this post or the next one) so I just randomly got ready, and me, W, Kt and Max went. The exhibition was fantastic! It's so amazing to see people make such beautiful things like sofas, dressers, water fountains, out of normal things. The prices were sky high, and the beauty of all those things made me wish I had a million rupees in my bank account, lol. Seriously. I couldn't take pictures of the home furniture, because there were too many people and I was afraid someone would tell me off, but I did take some pictures of the clothes that they designed and stitched. 

W gave me 500 rupees (I seriously am broke, and besides, W earns now it's not a big deal for him, lol) and I made the biggest mistake of spending all of that on a double cheeseburger meal at McDonald's :S And a brownie sundae, which was divine. I couldn't resist taking pictures of it.

 My main mood for today was indifference. Nothing really mattered to me, the exhibition was fun, and we went to McDonald's, and we all chilled and had sundaes, but it wasn't any very happy moment. Nothing was. I was really indifferent to everything, and I think I know why.

We stayed there till 5:00. In short,a very eventful Sunday afternoon. :)

Now, a little background information. Though I am better now, I have been sick since Thursday night. My stomach felt queasy, but it would always feel better during the day, and then when I would wake up after my nap, anything I ate would remain indigested until the following morning. Very strange schedule I was following. So, I think my stomach had had enough by this time, and after my Friday dinner, I vomited the whole thing out at 9pm. I assumed that things would be better after that, because vomiting basically takes all the bad stuff out (unless the bacteria is living inside your stomach, then no matter what you eat, you're gonna vomit it out) but no. I went to sleep early because  felt weak, and woke up at 2:45am with an excruciatingly painful stomach. I went to the bathroom, and basically vomited so much out that I felt like a mass of jelly afterwards, and I collapsed. Not going into details (because I don't want to be graphic) I was pumped with vitamins and minerals, and was restored, to some extent. I felt much better after the second time I vomited, because that's when I knew that everything bad in me was gone. I was racking my body for a full 10 minutes, it was absolutely crazy. I still felt very weak, and W freaked when he looked at me, saying that I looked skeletal. I feel much stronger now than I did before,and I will continue to take care of myself, and inshAllah I will be completely alright by Tuesday, which is when I give my first ever Biochem test :) So everything works out.

I really must dash, I have to study for the Biochem test and prepare for tomorrow's tutorial. But before I go, let me update that  did not become BR, Haf still is, because it created so much drama, Haf started getting angry, and we decided to have a vote on Friday, but before the vote happened, I decided to step down, it wasn't worth making Haf my enemy. I can still be sub BR whenever Haf is absent, and classmates still call me up or text me asking about topics to prepare or any updates, so that's enough for me, the fact that they prefer me to be BR, but they might not actually have the guts to say it.

I hope everybody had a good weekend and are prepared for the coming week :)