Okay, I am in like, a whirl of thoughts right now, and I need to sort them in my imaginary file cabinets and fix myself.
H told me, 2 months ago, that he had begun to quit smoking, and he's going to see if he can do it. Then he'll quit for good.
I told him that if he did go back to it, he would have to tell me.
He said ''Yeah, of course.''
He never told me anything, so I assumed that he never went back to it. In fact, 2 weeks before he left for the States, I kinda jibed him about it, and he said ''Oh great, now you reminded me. Now I want to.'' Then I asked ''So you're not doing it again?'' And he said ''No, I'm not. I quit.''
We're talking right now, on chat (actually, he's gone for a bit, but he'll be back and we were talking.) And he told me he was feeling ill. Cough, fever. He jokingly said that it was withdrawal symptoms.
Atleast I thought it jokingly.
I just found out that he was smoking, right upto the point that he left for America.
His valid reason?
''Of course. i quit for two weeks and saw what happened. so I thought i wouldn't get it anyway once in America so that would be the perfect time.''
He left before I could get a decent word out of him. I wanted to MAKE SURE it was true or not, as he is definitely a person to joke around about stuff like this.
I don't know what to say. Or how to feel. Really. Strangely enough, I was thinking about this today. About the fact that the last time he was in the States, he dropped this bomb on me too. That he was going to go back to smoking.
If you've read my post on smoking (scroll down, you'll find it), you'd know what I'm going through right now.
Did he really just break my trust...like that...again?
I am. Furious. And hurt. And very angry. And lost.
How could he just revert back to it and not tell me?
How the hell am I supposed to deal with this now?
8 comments:
Hey Random,
Love the new layout :D
Btw, I clicked on your link but I think all links redirect to your start page, so I couldn't see the old smoking post ..
But .. you can tell people to quit their bad habits. Push them and advice them, but ultimately if they don't quit for themselves .. they just won't :(
You can tell someone how you feel about it, but the rest is up to them. They should care about you enough to listen to what your saying .. but anyway.
Other than that, yeah I think you have a right to feel hurt because H didn't tell you / lied to you. Maybe he's seeing it as a small smoking thing, but the not telling you thing is kinda big .. so maybe talk to him and tell me how you feel?
hey!
sorry you feel so frustrated. You have a good reason to be so mad too. Getting someone to quit a habit is a long and frustrating process. You have to make them see that there is good in it for them, and it will only benifit them from quitting. Unless they accept the fact that it's causing danger to their health, and of course upsetting their loved ones, they are most likely not to quit.
I'm glad that you're trying to get him to quit smoking, he just needs to realise how much you care.
Good luck. =] x
well You cannot leave smoking if you say that you are going to do it slowly by reducing the number of cig or like do it for a couple of weeks and see. never works that way. You need the will..... I hope he lets go of this disgusting habbit and cherishes the life and health that God has bestowed him with.....and also stand by his promises to you.
best of luck.
Salaam Wafa,
I'm really sorry to have to say this but you can't base your future expectations on potential .. I once talked to a girl who went through marriage counseling for her 2nd marriage after the 1st one failed .. and she told me that through the experience she learned you should never ever expect someone do something before marriage when they don't do it and then expect things to change afterward. Her, example was of smoking too .. Her 1st husband did it and always said he would stop but he never did .. You have to go into it thinking he will continue but hope for the best & encourage him to quit.
I hope things get better!
Oops, I meant to say premarital counseling. Oh and that's what the counselor advised .. not what the girl said.
oh, that sucks. :( you could tell him that you feel angry and hurt by his actions. i'm sure he wouldn't want to upset you like that on purpose.
I agree with both lil-B and Yours truly above.
You're a trainee medic, you know that addiction to any drug cannot be stopped suddenly. Withdrawal symptoms occur, varying in severity depending on the drug being taken.
Tell him to take it slowly, like smoke one less cigarette each week, say he smoked 10 a day, he would cut down in 10 weeks time. Drug intake removal always works better when you wean off them slowly.
And as Eddie said, you can't just go from smoking a large number a day to smoking none. That takes a LOT of strength and is very difficult. And if that is the way someone chooses to do it, then they will be very likely to cave into their desires very soon.
@Lil-beeyotch:The introductory page will always come up whenever you open a link, you have to click on the picture of the book, the first picture, on the left. then it's the second or third one, as you go down. It's called ''My take on the cancer stick.''
To all of you: I'm writing another blog post encompassing the whole story, and my reply to all of your comments. Btw, thank you so much for commenting, it really did make me happy seeing all those comments after a horrible night's sleep. I have more to say. And I need more advice,basically.
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