Billy Martin.

When I was 10 years old, I heard a song on TV and the beat sounded really good, and when I waited for the song to end, it said ''Good Charlotte- Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous''. In the video, I saw this, and I immediately fell in love with the guy with the massive spike, second from the left.

His name was Benji, and the only thing I really liked about him was his spikes, lol. He looked very hot to me, sort of bad boy with a rock look but still young. 

So anyway, I listened to their song ''Anthem'' too, and ''Boys and Girls'', and I liked where they were coming from, I liked their sound. Then, their third album came out, ''Chronicles of Life and Death'', and I watched their video ''Predictable.'' In there, I saw the skinny guitarist, who had short spikes, but still was very cute. I was totally over the long spiked guy, and then later on MTV, the show ''Behind the Scenes'' came on featuring Good Charlotte, and then I learned that the guy's name was Billy Martin. This is how he looked bak then:

I just fell in love with him. Yeah, he did make up, mostly eye liner, and yeah he looked a bit scary, with the tattoos, but I just fell in love with this look, and he just looked really hot to me. Buff guys have never attracted me THAT much. I mean, yeah, good bodies are good bodies, but I don't know, I've always been into the skinny frame kinda guys. Lol. His jawline was to die for, absolutely die for. I started obsessing over him. At one point, I had a whole file in my computer dedicated to him, with over 200 pictures of him. Wow. Lol. I knew his birthday, his birth place, and the saddest part for me..his girlfriend's name :( I won't be shy to admit that upto a point, I did wish that she and him would break up, I really did. Even though he was dating her since he left high school, I just wanted him to be mine.

My mom highly disapproved of him, which only made me love him more. Haha. She said that he didn't look like a human, he looked like some evil thing. I really had to disagree on that,Marilyn Manson looks evil, not Billy, he looked a little goth, but overall sweet. He later cut and dyed his hair purple, which was one look I really didn't like, but it was okay :)

He loved to draw, he was a great artist, he loved music and hooror and fantasy, he was a massive addict of video games, and it was safe to say that we were NOTHING alike, but I just still loved him. Alot.

Flash forward, and they released their fifth album, Good Morning Revival. He looked the best here, and I actually made a plan to go to one of his concerts in Ohio, where I was going to be staying for a month, but the plan never finalized. :(

Anyway, now they've released their sixth album, Cardiology, he got married back in 2008, March 1st (very touchy topic with me) and he had his first child in January 2009. In the beginning, it was very jealous provoking thinking of him with someone else, but when the marriage happened, it made sense to me that him and his girlfriend Linzi ought to be together, and I'm totally okay with it now. His son is ADORABLE!!

Billy himself is totally changed, no more eye make up, tattoos are still there, but he covers them up mostly, with hoodies. He's not that rock star type like he was a few years back.

I think the reason I love him so much is because I've known him for so long, since I was 13 or 14. The main reason, I think, is because Billy has sort of matured with me. When I was into the punk goth scene, he was into that scene. When I was growing out of it, he was growing out of it. It's kinda weird how we were linked in that way, and my feelings for him have never changed, they've only matured. I think you can say, in a sense, he was my first real love.

I visit his Twitter almost every day and keep up with his life, and though I do not obsess over him as much as I used to, I would love to meet him and actually spend a day with him in L.A (that's where he lives). Thing is, me and him don't actually have alot in common, so I don't know what we'd do if we'd spend the day together, lol. But it's still a fantasy. And the little schoolgirl crush I had on him has changed and matured into admiration, and respect, and just a deeper sense of the word love.

He's very sober looking now, and I like him more this way, don't you think?

I love him. :)