This is all just normal...right?

I actually had to pen (err,text) down topics that I could blog about, because I seriously need to talk to someone other than my family. But strangely, my mind sort of shuts down when it comes to thinking of other things besides my studying schedule. I'm very linear and one way nowadays.

So, I'm stuck here, in these vacations, starting to study and prep for my send ups in September. I only gave myself about 2 weeks off, and even in those, some study-crazy kids from my college had begun their prep. I am NOT that insane. I needed a breather. I still need a breather, actually. I wish I had all the holidays to myself to make plans and eat good food, and have amazing company. Like some other people I know.

Okay, so it's been sort of ticking me off that a lot of my friends have gone abroad to spend their vacations. Not the close friends, the Facebook friends. One friend, went to the States, another went to Dubai, another went to Canada, and yet another went to London. They are spamming my news feed with their photos in every possible corner of the famous cities, and then they expect people not to stalk them? I want to go abroad. I feel useless in having an American passport now. Seriously. It feels like there's nothing I can do with it, so I should just shred it. I will admit that this is some phase of jealousy, but you can't blame me. Being suffocated all year with tests and exams and reminders that you have to do well ALL the time, can take its toll and leave you slightly deranged. So, I want a world tour, and lots of money. I'm practical enough to know and accept it won't happen, but I can definitely dream.

I think I have a stalker-ish side to me. I recently found out about it when I see how I backslide on Facebook posts. And go back to everything a person has done within 24 hours. It used to be funny; now it's turning into a problem. Lol. I'm paranoid, crazy paranoid. I NEED to know what other people are thinking, how they perceive a situation, why they do so. But now that I know that I do it, I'm consciously trying to stop. As in,even if I have an opportunity to stalk the life out of something, I deliberately hold back, remembering there's a higher power than me and fighting my need to know and control everything. A calls me Monica. From Friends. I don't know how she meant by it, but I consider it a compliment. Haha, because I love the way she's so perfect about everything. If you're going to live, live well, right?

My study routine is so funny. I wake up at 4pm. Then self-loathe for about a half hour. Then study for barely an hour before Aftaari prep beckons me. Then after Aftaari prep, I'm too full and sleepy, so I'm skimming through pages. Then 8:30pm-10:30pm, is a double show of Masterchef followed by Criminal Minds. Everything is supremely testing me! And I regularly fail that test. I end up watching the shows and starting to SERIOUSLY begin study after midnight. I need something to properly scare me that the send ups are actually coming up. I think lack of time will scare me one day. Right now, it's not, as is evident by the fact that I still have half a chapter left of Biochem study and it's 2:25am. -___-

I really want/need a new profile picture for my Facebook. Preferably one taken by a DSLR. I need some fun in my life!

So there you have it. A blog post of a person who has nothing interesting going on for her in her life. But when she does, she'll let you know.