It's 4:12am right now, I'm only up because I have a Biochemistry practical in a few hours, and I've only studied 75% of the course. The rest I can do in a while, so I'm not worried.
What I am worried about, however, is my health. Something is DEFINITELY failing. And I have no idea what it is! God. This began since the beginning of September, when my papers began. And this is the main reason for why my papers did not go as well as they should've. I was drowning in tissues half the time.
I'm becoming a doctor, and I can't even figure myself out?!
Symptoms: Very very heavy head, tired all the time, blocked nose, which tends to run whenever there's a change in temperature in the air, general muscle weakness,difficulty in breathing,no effect even after I take anti-allergy medicine or Panadol and Panadol CF.
I would be more than grateful if somebody could tell me what is wrong. I've already been to so many doctors and they're all telling me it's just hay fever, or happening because of a change in the weather.
I feel like I'm dying. Not to scare you or anything.
Okay. So, the Islamabad trip MIGHT be postponed for a little while. Which has gotten me feeling all sorts of sad, because I was really looking forward to it. Also, tomorrow after I come home I'm going to make a schedule to study for the profs. I love love love making schedules. It's so much fun. Really. Then it's even more fun when I complete the amount I had to study for the day and I can tick mark it off the schedule.
..Oh my God, I sound like a nerd, don't I?
I hope I don't get TOO sick of MBBS. Because I've noticed that I've wanted these exams over more than I've wanted anything else this whole year. Or maybe it's because of my whole tabyat being khraab that I felt this way. I'll know for sure at prof time.
I'm starting to get addicted to chai. Fun fact: I've been making chai for my parents ever since I was 12 years old, but I've actually only started tasting the chai I make NOW, at the age of 20. I had no idea what stuff I was serving my parents. Haha. So, I discovered, I make a pretty rivalled cup of tea. And I like mine with lots of sugar. I hope it doesn't turn out to be an addiction though. Cuz I don't like getting addicted to one thing. It'll make me a hypocrite to what I say to H. About being addicted to smoking. Although he doesn't like to call it addicted. He calls it a ''habit.''
Pfft. He's just dressing up the word ''addicted.''
I'll talk about my feelings here soon, if I feel like. If I want to. Like I used to. Just trying to avoid that for now. It used to be the hardest thing in the world, to go by my day without telling someone how I felt, it being displayed all over my face. And now, it's all denial.
5 comments:
Aww. Maybe you just have a weak immune system? Gosh, I don't know. I really admire people who want to be doctors.
Heyy did you get a blood test done? I think you should. My mom had anaemia and you have some of her symptoms. Get well soon. :)
Thanks Anum, I'm definitely going to get it confirmed if I have anemia, and then start loading myself with iron rich foods.
Cricketfreak, I admire them too. I don't consider me one of them since I don't even know what's wrong with me! :P
i love making schedules too! that means im also a nerd (yaay)lol but i llove making to-do lists n then finally crossing them out after im done. the act of crossing out something on a to-do list is quite satisfying i must say...
heres my opinion on denial - its the sad truth of growing up and experiencing more than you can chew. the fortunate ones who are not in denial havnt faced something tough enough to force them into it... good luck on everything
Mmmmm chai, I just had one cup and I want another one now!
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