Extremely lazy.

I liiike this new layout. ALOT, actually.

I think I'm gonna stick to Template Designer, if I ever want to change my layout again. They have loads of different styles, for everything. When I think about it deeply, I didn't like my last layout enough. It lacked color. Grays and blacks and whites lowered my mood whenever I opened my blog. Lol.

I have to change the header though, it's not suitable to me anymore. People change. So I changed. I do still like the abstract-ness of the stoplight though. But I must find another one, to describe me more aptly. That will take a while,lol.

I have become. way. too. lazy. Like. I go to sleep at around 4am. And I wake up at 4pm. And that's so not right. It's unhealthy. I love sleeping, and I love laying down, it's my favorite thing ever. But my mom needs me in the morning, to help her with things. With watching the maid clean (why is it that Pakistani maids never do a good job unless you're breathing down their necks? Kaamchor.) And helping her with house stuff. I'm free now, I'm on holiday, but that doesn't mean that I have to only think about myself. My mom is happy that I'm on holiday too, so I can help her. 

So I should definitely get more into the family lifestyle. It'll make me feel good too :)

There's a really major piece of news that brewing in my family, and I'm half excited and half scared. And it doesn't have to do with me directly. But I can't tell you just yet. Don't want to jinx it. Besides my followers, you never know what stalker is perversing through my blog. O_O I'm slightly scared now. But, you'll know about the good news when everything is finalized, and no amount of ''nazr'' can do anything to it. Lol. Wait now...

Oh, the wedding is over. It honestly didn't even feel like a wedding, because of the weird timings. 7-10pm. WHAT?! Don't they know that as traditional Pakistanis, one of their many traits is to stall for time? And be ''fashionably late''. If the card says 8pm, basically it means ''we'll still be getting ready by 8, so you can come at 9, or even 9:30. We won't hit you by 10. But 11, it's quite enough.'' Haha. So the fact that rules were actually put out for a wedding. It's just unnatural in a country and culture like Pakistan.

And all to save energy because Pakistan has an electricity problem. Damn, we gotta fix that.

H is in America. Okay, you already knew that. There were like, little little fights that we touched upon, and they could've led to an all out open brawl, but thankfully they didn't. A part of me has grown up and realized some things about life, and about how relationships need to toughen in order to stay strong. And over time, I have realized that contrary to what I thought, H is NOT a perfect person. When you start out in a relationship, they are completely perfect to you. And the shocking bit, the bit that throws you in doubts, is when you realize that, no your ''significant other'' is not perfect. He or she has flaws. Maybe a temper, maybe a little bias, maybe gambling, maybe smoking. Myabe you can change those things, maybe you can't. But to sum up everything I've been feeling these past few days, I'd just like to say I truly know the meaning of this quote now:

"Love is not about finding a perfect person. It's about loving an imperfect person, perfectly. And looking beyond the imperfectly.''

Just because somebody has flaws, doesn't mean you and him or you and her aren't meant to be. So, basically, that is the lesson I learned this week. :)

Somebody once told me something: We're all humans. Everybody has flaws. Jinnah was great, he drank. Hitler was a visionary, he was a racist who killed millions of Jews. There's probably a perfect person out there, but his breath might stink. Point is, there IS no perfect person. And yet people still love. Which means they've decided to accept the small imperfection and love the whole point of him/her.

Good enough. Lol.

Oh.My.God. Look what's releasing in Pakistan tomorrow (yes, a week late. Weird.)

 

Dude. I like, have to see this in cinema. With the surround sound. I'm literally dying to.

HP RUNS IN MY VEINS.

I'm right in front of Dad right now. I'm gonna ask him for money for the ticket. Lol. Though I'd much rather go with H. But he's 8000 miles away. So I guess I'll just go with my sister.

Besides that, I'm going to an old college friend's place this Saturday. It's going to be fun, we have so much catching up to do! So I have things to look forward to, which I'm grateful for.

Please keep praying for my cousin K, who has cancer. We don't know the survival rate, and she's undergoing chemo. We need all the duas we can have. Never underestimate the power of prayer and of dua.

Today is officially Friday. Have a blessed Juma'a. :D

''My desi girl, my desi girl...''

The wedding is on, in full swing. Today was the mehendi, and the night before tonight, I went over to the bride's house, to stay over. I won't say it was fun, because it wasn't. Lol. It was just okay. I had mangoes, but they made my tummy upset. :(

There's just something about weddings, right? A new bride and groom, starting their life...I bet half the people that attend the wedding either dream up their own wedding (if unmarried) or remember their own wedding. It's just that kind of a thing. The mehendi was okay. I wore a turquoise and pink shalwar kameez, and I put my hair in a ''paranda.''

 It's these long colorful...I don't knw what you call it. Threads, I think? Anyway, you wrap them around the bottom of your hair, to give it that Punjabi desi touch. I think it's awesome.

Unfortunately, ''parandas'' don't agree with me. :( The reason is because I have a small face, so everytime I wrap my hair into that, it just makes my face more prominent. Which is not good. Lol. My face is round and tiny. Not suited to parandas. So no matter how much I love their look and traditional feel, sadly, I'll never wear parandas again. On other people, they look fantastic. But when I see myself wearing one, I hate how I look. I love my hair flowing around, and straightened, or curled, or styled in some way.

I guess 'desi-ness just doesn't like me. Oh well.

I don't like my layout anymore. It's too grey. And even though I've learned enough HTML to alter things, I don't know how to alter a lot of other things too. Like colors, and designs. I can see it written ''arial'' and stuff in there, but I don't know what it's for.

I'm too lazy to find out anyway. Lol. So, I'll be looking for a new layout, soon.

I begin studying from July 25th,all the way till September 4th. And then September 5th is the first Anatomy send up.

Just saying it makes my heart stop. I'm terrified of a stupid send up, look at me. Haha. It's okay though, I've made a schedule. Which was the easy part. Now I have to follow through. I hope I do. I don't miss my books at all, I love being so free and able to do whatever I want. True, it gets boring at times, but it feels nice, not having any responsibilities.

I want to go back to studying when I want to,because only I know exactly when I'm feeling good enough to go back to it. Lol. I don't like to be pressured to do anything. Exams=pressure.

I better get some sleep, tomorrow's the wedding, and there's so much to be done. Even for a person who's just attending, like me. Lol. And I need some things to keep me busy and my mind to be kept off other things.

You'll still be fine and feeling alright even when we're fighting and things aren't well between us, so let's just forget about it and move on with our lives.

Lots and Tots

''Productive'' should be my watchword. I say it for almost everything. 

Anyway.

I woke up today, from a dream. A really weird dream. You know how sometimes you wake up from a very vivid dream, that you still feel like you're in a dream state for the next half hour? That's how vivid it was. 

It was my mehendi. Might sound all ''aww, a girl's wedding'', but the thing is...it wasn't with H. That's what scared me. I was wearing a really pretty shocking pink lehenga, and I was sitting in the bridal room. And people were greeting me and congratulating me, and I felt so strange. I felt like I had to find H. So I took a cousin of mine with me, outside. 

Yes, I ran away from my own celebration. Lol.

It was raining outside, so I bundled up my lehenga in my hands, and I kept on walking until I found a bus. I went on it, but then almost immediately I told the driver to turn back, because I had a feeling that H already reached the venue. I went back. It was raining, I was getting drenched, but for some reason I didn't care. I guess because I didn't want this wedding to happen. I didn't even see the groom in my dream yet!

Then as I was walking back to the hall, I saw him, and he saw me. And he took my hand and led me up the stairs,back to the hall. We didn't speak about the fact that I wasn't marrying him, I didn't feel anything weird, like sadness, or my heart breaking. It felt like ''Devdas'', that scene where Shah Rukh Khan is taking Aishwarya back to the ''mandar''. After that,H went to the segregated portion of the hall. 

And then I woke up.

I felt strange all of that afternoon. I woke up at 4pm. Lol. I'm a late sleeper nowadays.

The rest of the day was okay. Me and my sister got down to some heavy cleaning, like break-your-back cleaning. Deep cleaning. It felt good when everything was clean, only..now we were dirty. Haha. Then after that me and my parents went to a family friend's place.

Preparations for my cousin's wedding in full swing! A trip to the parlor is BADLY needed. I'm waiting till the last day so that I look the freshest at the wedding :D

I'm just waiting for H to come online now. We haven't skyped since I posted up his pictures here on Blogger. Somebody put ''nazr'' on. Thanks a lot, whoever you are.

Moral Majority.

My friend, Rehmat Ajmal, started this page on Facebook, called Moral Majority. Here is the link. It's a page supprting women in Pakistan, and fighting for their rights. I am a self proclaimed feminist, so this page basically describes everything I stand for. Women have their own rights, men do not need to throw acid, do ''karo-kari'' or anything of the sort. We are not different. We're human. We should not be treated with such low status. And sadly, Pakistan is one of those countries that does that.

Join this page, if you're a woman, man, or if you think females of Pakistan need a better society to live in. Thanks. :)

Frenzy.

Okay, so my cousin's wedding is coming up.

15th,16th,17th.

And me and my sister are performing on 2 medleys, which is about 8 cut-up songs.

The choreography is just crazy. Lol.

When I was a kid, if I ever found a catchy song, I would drag my sister (let's call her K, she's only one year younger than me and one of my best friends) off of the couch and practice different dances, and then basically choreograph everything, even saying ''1,2,3,4..''

for absolutely no reason at all. Lol. We didn't practice for any competition, or anything. Just to beat the boredom, and make our lives fun. As far as I can remember, we made whole dance routines on the songs ''Come on Over'' by Christina Aguilera and ''You Cannot Run'' from the Scooby Doo movie. I am awesome at modern dance.

Traditional dance, not so much.

I am so awkward at dancing now. I feel like my body is too huge (because I'm bony, not because I'm fat) and I'm going to end up hitting someone. But it actually became fun today. We were at it for about 2 hours, I needed extra help because I couldn't understand how many spins there were. Lol. I'm a very on-beat person, I needed each dance step to be in sync with the music, whether I was in sync with my sister or not. Lol.

I think I'm going to have fun with this. It'll fill up my vacation days, so that's good :) Because honestly, there is like absolutely NOTHING going on. I'm so bored, I actually woke up at 4pm, because I didn't have anything to do.

The wedding is going to be awesome. I love weddings, mostly because they give me a chance to give myself a makeover. At every wedding we've attended in the last 3 years, I've gotten a haircut for it.

I've always had long hair growing up. There was a period when I had short hair, but I was too young to remember. When I was 13, we moved to Pakistan, and everyone admired my hair. But I hated it. I was thin, so I looked really weird, like all my hair weighed me down. So when I was 14, after literally BEGGING my mother, I got a haircut, about halfway arm's length. My mom actually cried. Haha :P

After that, it's been a series of haircuts. After some experiments, I found out that my best haircut was ''layers''. I kept on getting that again and again.

But now I need another change. And this time, since I'm in medical and all and I ALWAYS play the safe side, I'm going to go a little wild.

I'm planning on getting a bob.

That's right! :D

That's mega short. I've never had it that short. I'm secretly terrified, but at the same time, super excited. My mom is horrified. She said she'll never let me get that.

I'm 21. Of course I can get it. And I will. I'm dying to!

I'm lost about the front though. Some people say get a fringe with it, others say get bangs (like Katie Holmes in the picture above) and yet again, some say don't get anything done, leave it for a middle parting. I personally like the bangs and the middle parting. But I'm open to opinions. :) Do comment and tell me what you think!

Okay. I'm hungry. I'm going to have Maggi noodles..or something. Lol. I think dance practice every day is going to suck the life out of me.

Genuine.

So, even though I wanted to discuss the whole ''smoking'' thing with him, he made it clear enough that he wasn't going to do it at all while he was in America, which is 2 months. Hopefully, by then he'll be off it by good. But if he's not,I will try and continue to encourage him to quit, and if before marriage he doesn't, I will have to go into expecting that he'll continue to smoke. It's heartbreaking even saying it, but it's true. And realistic.

I will talk to him about it, one of these days. Maybe if the topic is brought up by itself. Right now, we still can't get over the fact that we're so apart, we want to talk as much as possible. We skyped for the first time last night. We couldn't talk or hear each other's voices, but we didn't care. We could see each other. It was bliss.

I miss him a lot now.

Hopefully another Skype tonight.♥