Finally set up my laptop to include Windows 7, and all the drivers. Feels good, one thing crossed off my list. A million more to go.
Things are missing. My camera charger. My anatomy sketchbook (it's found now. At my cousin's house) Something else that I forgot. I don't like losing things. I feel empty then. I rarely lose things anyway.
K's been ill for the past week. High grade fever, abdominal pain. The way my mind has been screwed with regarding my choice of career, only I know about. I've had to guess my sister's diagnosis about seven times so far. About 68203 people have given me advice on what pills to give, or what injections, or IV infusions. Taken her to four doctors, each of them giving a different diagnosis. It's not malaria. Or jaundice. Or dengue. If it's just a simple fever, why won't it go away? My medical knowledge has been supremely tested, and my entire set up of life has been turned upside down. Priorities change when your family is in danger.
When Mom needed to have her surgery, I was on prof leave, so I could be able to juggle visits to the hospital + studying + taking care of the house. Somehow, I did, and somehow I ended up with 403/600, a number I thought was impossible for me. But this time, my sister's illness is overtaking everything else (as it should). I've missed a Biochem viva not once, but twice, have nothing prepared for the coming substage or Biochem test, Histo copy SO incomplete that I'm afraid of even getting it checked, and missed two days of college and an out-of-city trip (which my friends are currently on right now as I write this). And it's making me really miserable. I need everything to fit, like a puzzle, so that I can get all the important things done in my life. I hate this feeling.
If anyone was to ask me any question in the world right now, I'd only have one answer. "I just want my sister to get better and recover fully back to health." Remember her in your prayers please.
Guests over, chai to make, histo diagrams to complete. Will go now.
P.S. I am aware that this is a pessimistic post. And lacking any sense of poetic edge that I am so desperately craving. But it's allowed for now. Life is certainly looking down.
2 comments:
currently going through similar feeling. Annoying as hell... but aah life it is..
Will keep her in my du'as and you, and your family. Hope everything gets better, inshallah. Will continue to pray that it will, I know it's so easy to say but keep positive. You have Allah on your side, and you have so much more strength and determination than you give yourself credit for. You're amazing, you really are, and you can achieve anything and everything. Just take care of yourself, take care of the family, but most importantly, pray, and everything else will fall into place. Thinking of you all, love you <3
PS - Let me know if there's anything I can do! <3 <3 <3
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