I survived.
I survived and I thought I never would. I thought I would drown, suffocate, in this month of December with the wedding and the best friend and the EVERLARGE prof. And it's all over. It's all done and I made it through. I feel like I've fought a thoroughly physical battle.
Today, I am calmer than I have been in days. I couldn't attend my sister's Walima, because I still had one more viva to give, but I stayed at the hostel. Even for written exams, I stayed here. I don't know why people get sad that I stay here. Truth be told, I like it. It's enjoyable. Even now, when I'm just sitting under a yellow light while friends are sleeping, and watching TFIOS for the first time.
Best friend was here which felt unreal and yet absolutely amazing. Sleepovers and pizza and pasta and secrets and soooo many stories in 8 years that they were spilling over each other and yet we still haven't told them all. Something about Cuabin crew, and the FBI contacting her. I don't know.
I am in such a peaceful state. Wrapped up in this fleece blanket with the heater right next to me and the room so warm.I'm really happy and calm. This happiness only comes after prof. During the holidays.
I miss Kt insanely. I can't talk about it with anyone else because I don't think they'll get it. I dislike change, and it's going to be the weirdest thing not having her in the house anymore. I used to call her for everything, show her funny things, and talk about random thoughts well into the night. Sleeping in the same bed for nearly a quarter of a decade. This is something new, and something I refuse but need to get used to. To texting and calling her instead of going in the other room. I'm thinking about her all the time. If there's anything putting a damper on my happiness, it's the thought of the empty house when I go back.
Okay I'm done. (:
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